Intellibots

     One night a dreaming chemistry student gazed upon the stars.  His name was Tom; he was up late.  He had a lot on his mind.  He had an avid and working knowledge of computers, the periodic table, and biology.  What set Tom apart from many other students of science was his understanding of biology and metallurgy.  Stemming from ideas of nickel-plating, he could prove with written theory how to turn biological matter into metals and gels and other forms of living and non-living material.

     He could change the animals into “living hardware”.  Existing as a humane being, though, how could he use these theories to the benefit of other beings’ understanding?  He wanted the money for it, and he did not want to feel any ethical guilt.  “I will design a pharmaceutical artificial intelligence robot pill,” he thought, “Like many other theoretical ideas, this pill will chemically change animals into some form of an animal-bot.”  He thought on the topic for some time, and Tom considered the various dictionaries he could use in computing from his side-studies of artificial intelligence.

     “How else could I monitor brainwave function and communicate with other forms of life?” he wondered.  He went inside and found a mechanical pencil and a sketchpad.  He quickly wrote down a design for a pill, including the chemical reactions to back up specific “proci”, a term he used for the plural form of the word “process”.  “I wonder what might be a good choice for a first animal,” he thought.  “A cat!” he said aloud on accident.

     A cat it was. He had a female neighbor named Ann.  Ann was an art design major with an expensive kitten she called “Floofa”.  She said Floofa was a “Siamese snow cat”.  “Floofa will be a great prototype for my first robotic artificial intelligence communications and behavioral learning pill,” thought Tom.

     He continued exhaustively with his rough writings related to biological chemistry, metallurgy, and anatomical sketches of a young kitten for at least three quarters of an hour.  Tom went and finished the rest of his real school work, as he was pursuing a bachelor’s degree in chemistry and considering pre-med, before he turned in.  The next morning Tom woke early and attended his classes.  He took notes and turned in his assigned work; he thought of Floofa.  That afternoon he went to the chemistry lab with his sketches – they were the design for his first pill.  “I will call these animals ‘Intellibots’,” thought Tom, and he worked into the night.

     By 9 PM that day, he had designed the perfect pill for Floofa.  The epicenter of the pill contained a tiny bio-metallic sphere.  The stomach acids of any feline would react with the pill to start its primary and secondary reactions.  All secondary reactions would deal with RNA, connectivity, and longevity for the eventual adult cat.  Primary reactions would cause the cat to have reduced cylindrical areas in its main functioning bones in order for the development of titanium wires.  These wires, unseen, would resemble alien technology.  The wires would connect to various other smaller wires of new metals for communication purposes, as well as “physical action technique” reasons.

     The pill would develop inside of the kitten into a sort of radio with communication and artificial intelligence.  These things could happen due to a small and newly formed chip in the top of the cat’s skull.  The kitten would not be harmed or feel pain in any way.  Tom would see the thought process of the kitten.  Floofa could have conversations with the chip for decision-making processes and learning.

     The kitten could more quickly make decisions such as playing with small birds and deciding on behaviors around humans.  The program in the chip had over a gig of memory.  It would learn what the kitten taught it, helping the cat remember things.  Tom would be able to study more than one “Intellibot”- he could monitor their brainwave activity on an external system, elsewhere.  He would only have to design more pills specific to other animals.

     He finished making the pill, and brought it home.  “What will I tell Ann?” he wondered.  I guess I will just tell her the truth.  He went to see Ann with his pill.  At first, she called him a mad scientist.  She told him he could never use her precious kitty as a “toy pig”!  He tried to explain that the pill was not only a kind of experiment for the world of psychology – Ann would always know where her kitten was.  She would never lose her precious Floofa – for only ten dollars.  Ann thought about it and asked if there was any chance of the pill harming her kitten.  Tom said, “No, it is as safe as a small bowl of milk.”  He was sure of it, though he spoke of an “extremely minimal” chance of unknown biological reaction.

     Ann gave Tom a ten-dollar bill, and he gave her a back-up disk and showed her the pill.  Floofa would not consume the pill by choice; Tom administered the medication in gentle privacy.  The kitten was fine.  Ann ran the computer program.  Tom and Ann watched her computer screen, as the program he made earlier that day displayed the reaction.  The pill expanded slowly, placing the titanium in the bones of the kitten and properly forming the chip painlessly between Floofa’s skull and the upper part of the kitten’s brain.

     Once done, the two students watched the kitten play around with a toy mouse full of fresh catnip.  The dancing ball of health held an in-depth conversation with its new artificial intelligence chip, reporting the conversation on the screen and writing it to file.  Ann and Tom were both impressed that her kitten could learn to spell so quickly.  Ann and Tom enjoyed playing with Floofa that evening.  The three lived happily ever after.

The End.

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